Jonah, my beautiful son:
You opened my eyes to the reality of incarnation - not only God's Spirit filling you, but also as a reflection of God Incarnate in Jesus Christ. Words cannot express this mystery and indeed, in you I learned that they do not need to.
You taught me the reality of suffering; suffering, yet with grace; suffering because of Love; suffering because I choose to Love. This is not to say that I've learned how to faithfully do the same; only that you clothed the glory of Christ's suffering and redemption in flesh, right before me, in a way I could both understand and no longer deny.
The cold winter wind at my back always brings me back to this place; the stabs of ice and the grace of snow flowing over us at your graveside; the isolated wandering of the dark February walk once I returned to work to face the daily grind again, which, I am sure you know, I have never really done.
That is, face it. I walk forward, and my face is set in that direction, but all I know is that cold wind, the glistening snow, and that I don't know where I am going. Or why.
This has been both my reality, and my excuse. I ask your forgiveness, and my family's; perhaps one day I will also be able to ask Christ for the same.
I look for that blessed hope in which you now rest, and pray that I will find it, and see you again.